...
[All Rights Reserved. Steal and Die.]
:... A Note On Locale ...:
Not Berlin, it goes without saying. Eleanore Tovoinen... Toivonen, the name's Finnish, she's Finnish, she married a Fin for a reason. So when she goes home, she goes back to Helsinki, not to Berlin. ... And in my notebook, it seems to have struck me as utterly vital that Eleanore and Serafeim meet in passing once before his fall. Perhaps at the monastery in Kirkas, perhaps years ago. For some reason, it was utterly vital that she know the prior from the early days. And at the moment, I don't precisely recall why. Scribbled paragraphs in the midst of calculus classes tend to make very little sense, but I do get the drift that I wanted to highlight the separation of S.' and E.'s spheres, a separation which grows less and less defined as time wears on. More to the point: I want to emphasize the point that she is the only woman he has ever felt something for, the perfect representation of "woman" in his mind. Not only is she its epitome, she is the only one he sees - on a practical level as much as on a symbolic one.
:... A Note on the Tags ...:
We have a new one, notably; one revolving around sin. Naturally, they won't go in order, but if we can get our frail angel to make it through all ten of them - even slightly goofy #one and #three - that would be just precious.
. . .
:... Sin Is Whatever Obscures The Soul #1: Adultery ...:
Eleanore is married when they go to bed in Dubrovnik. When S. comes to see her in Helsinki -
finds her clutching the doorway, a bruise over one eye and cheek, fallow eyes with a sudden glimmer
of recognition - she is wearing a ring. And later: "So when did this happen?" Years ago. Years and years
and years ago. A tic of the eyelid, tear-lined: "Are you telling me I'm an adulterer?" In the white house, she is
begging for forgiveness but he is too far out of tears. For the priest to hear the confession of his lover,
for the demon to glean the blessings of a saint? She is crying. He isn't. He's trying to get out, drained,
agitated, all eaten-up. From room to room they go, and he's insistent, gesturing, saying,
No. No, I won't hear it. I don't want to hear it.
. . .
:... Some Cast To Date ...:
:... Serafeim Křehký ...:
(the angel)
:.. Eleanore Toivonen ...:
(the woman)
:... Miroslav Satan ...:
(the sinner)
:.. Rolf Toivonen ...:
(the bastard)
:.. Francesco Venanzi ...:
(the preferito)
:.. Mikael Vanhanen ...:
(the prior)
:... Constantine Burakgazi ...:
(the holy man)
. . .
Excerpts to follow.
[I didn't even try this, but I love that Eleanore is the only bit of color in the world.]
:... Sin Is Whatever Obscures The Soul #1: Adultery ...:
Eleanore is married when they go to bed in Dubrovnik. When S. comes to see her in Helsinki -
finds her clutching the doorway, a bruise over one eye and cheek, fallow eyes with a sudden glimmer
of recognition - she is wearing a ring. And later: "So when did this happen?" Years ago. Years and years
and years ago. A tic of the eyelid, tear-lined: "Are you telling me I'm an adulterer?" In the white house, she is
begging for forgiveness but he is too far out of tears. For the priest to hear the confession of his lover,
for the demon to glean the blessings of a saint? She is crying. He isn't. He's trying to get out, drained,
agitated, all eaten-up. From room to room they go, and he's insistent, gesturing, saying,
No. No, I won't hear it. I don't want to hear it.
. . .
:... Some Cast To Date ...:
:... Serafeim Křehký ...:
(the angel)
:.. Eleanore Toivonen ...:
(the woman)
:... Miroslav Satan ...:
(the sinner)
:.. Rolf Toivonen ...:
(the bastard)
:.. Francesco Venanzi ...:
(the preferito)
:.. Mikael Vanhanen ...:
(the prior)
:... Constantine Burakgazi ...:
(the holy man)
. . .
Excerpts to follow.
[I didn't even try this, but I love that Eleanore is the only bit of color in the world.]
- mood:
exhausted - music:"Comptine d'un Autre Ete" by Yann Tiersen
I spoke with Dr. Shaw in class on Thursday, and he made some truly intriguing - if Nietzschian - points regarding faith. Catholicism, he suggested, is a religion founded by slaves for slaves... designed to make them feel better about being slaves. Because they could not realistically expect their lot to improve in this life, they dwelt on the afterlife. It's a fundamentally unhealthy religion, he told us in lecture, one founded upon the most repugnant principals of masochism: it idolizes the image of a man nailed to a cross, nailed through the hands and feet. (Consider Drakulić - J., akimbo, says "You look like a whore": but S. knows that by accepting the pain with open arms, one can fool oneself into ceasing to feel it.) There is a decided emphasis on denial and mortification - it makes the suffering worthwhile. It makes the suffering mean something.
. . .
:.. To Find Patience in Grace (And End Up Nothing) ...:
cuivus dolori remedium est patrentia
[patience is the cure for all suffering]
:.. To Find Patience in Grace (And End Up Nothing) ...:
cuivus dolori remedium est patrentia
[patience is the cure for all suffering]
:... Miroslav Satan ...:
. . .
:.. In Darkness Let Me Dwell ...:
The Code of Canon Law establishes that, "Those upon whom the penalty of excommunication or interdict has been imposed or declared, and others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin, are not to be admitted to Holy Communion" (can. 915).
Excommunication may result from:
- apostasy
- heresy
- schism
- desecration of the eucharist
- violence against the pope
- ordination of bishops sans papal mandate
- violation of the seal of confession
Something possibly useful for later:
- Interdict may result from attempting to marry while having a perpetual vow of chastity
In other news, I wrote to the Archdiocese of Philadelphia to ask about the alteration of canon law after Vatican II. Why, you ask? Because I enjoy making men of the cloth uncomfortable. I worry that I shall get some hopelessly bureaucratic form letter in return, thanking me for my correspondence and wishing me joy and contentment in the Lord's blessed light and so forth. NPR gave me a helpful snippet, either way: The Vatican defines heresy as "the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine or catholic faith, or it is likewise and obstinate doubt concerning the same." ... The drowning may hold up after all.
. . .
[I propose a new bout in the word war, Imp. An additional 5,000 words by next Saturday at midnight, certo? Say yes. Voglio il tramezzo, and I won't have the motivation to write otherwise. ;)]
On the topic of religion - we were on the topic of religion? - I watched Constantine tonight. It was a bit of a blast.
On the topic of religion - we were on the topic of religion? - I watched Constantine tonight. It was a bit of a blast.
- mood:
tired - music:Corelli Adagio from Concerto G - Master & Commander Soundtrack
Something interesting which I discovered the other day, wandering aimlessly about cyberspace when I should have been doing music for theatre homework. A dream symbol dictionary: it informed me that dreaming of any sort of cross or crucifix indicates (1) joy, happiness and fufillment after a long and difficult struggle, or (2) a crossroads implying the obvious: two possible paths lie ahead, and a choice must be made. On the subject, Frost manages to be useful for once: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood / And sorry I could not travel both / And be one traveler, long I stood / And looked down one as far as I could / To where it bent in the undergrowth...
Poetry keeps attacking me from the most unlikely places, from Milosz anthologies and books I've nicked from the library. They bleed together like watered-down dye and keeping leaking into my narrative. It is the nature of art, beauty, and divinity to be clean, implies Lang... Wat comments upon the beauty of breathless lungs and Sexton describes the perversity of a God who unties the knot of double hunger in mortals. Memories keep bubbling up from nowhere: a nun who once told me the story of a woman who so loved God that she took communion thrice a day; He decided to test this extraordinarily loyal woman by causing her to bleed for forty years from her fingernails and toes. ["If that's what He does to the people who love him," says Eleanore, "You're off the hook."] Our protagonist would doubtless end up in the realm of "If that's what he does to the people who love him, imagine the retribution which will face me in Hell." ... It positively begs to be thrown into the mix. I initially imagined that I would be too far afield, too out of the loop to write about Roman Catholicism, but I'm starting to realize that it isn't the denomination that matters. It's the small graces, the miniature downfalls, the personal failures which hold the story, not the language of the mass. It's all about the humanity.
:.. [Tell] the Priest, He's the Doctor, He Can Handle the Shocks: Playlist #1...:
Mercy Street by Peter Gabriel
Leave by The Swell Season
Walk Away by The Nadas
Sweet Religion by Imogen Heap
Near To You by A Fine Frenzy
In Darkness Let Me Dwell by Sting & Karamazov
Furious Angels by Rob Dougan
I'm Not Driving Anymore by Rob Dougan
Angel by Massive Attack
Borrowed Time by A Fine Frenzy
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston
Terrible Lie by Nine Inch Nails
Nothing At All by Rob Dougan
Puis Qu'en Oubli by Guillame de Marchaut
When the Angels Fall by Sting
Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan
Darkness by Peter Gabriel
The Road to Chicago [from the Perdition Soundtrack]
The Hill by Marketa Irglova
Sakrelig by Eisbrecher
Mein Blut by Eisbrecher
- mood:
okay - music:As Vesta Was Descending by Thomas Weelkes
:... You Mean Everything To Me...:
A Central Cast of Two.
- Serafeim Křehký: literally, "delicate angel". Our frail protagonist who acts as one of his own antagonists - damaged goods, and a psychological wreck. I don't want him to be a common priest, we have misconceptions about priests and he's fundamentally too young to be believable in the role. I'm leaning towards Laity, then, some form of consecrated life within an obscure monastic order. Perhaps. It needs to be self-isolating enough to make his return to the secular world sufficiently messy. Interdict or excommunication, I haven't quite decided which to use. The former, perhaps, or a withdrawn excommunication - if this evolves into him returning to his previous position, I'm going to have to figure out a way around penalty and Catholic law.
- Eleanore Toivonen: the love interest. Or, more accurately, the one interested in love. She's atheist, and embodies the finer themes of love: patient, kind, and warm. Hers is a human warmth which has been thus far missing from the existence of our protagonist, but it is no match for divine warmth - her perpetual struggle to free the abovementioned from his emotional and psychological baggage conflicts frequently with her desire to disentangle herself from religion entirely. She is the only female character I have ever written who has not been pure good or pure evil. Rather complex, flawed and confused; possessing a keen desire to protect and to save, and yet frequently unwilling to wholly accept the role of arbiter of sanity. Beautifully imperfect, beautifully human. A good contrast for our angel. The given name just happens to be my very favorite name on the face of this earth. The surname is derived from the old Finnish for 'hope'. She's one of the good guys; makes her living translating novels from obscure languages to well-read ones, and likes heroes who die in the last five pages.
. . .
There is a slew of additional characters - religious and secular, noteworthy and vague, antagonistic and helpful - and they shall be rambled over when I have more time and lucidity. Serafeim and Eleanore are the only two constant personas, however. The rest are shadows, ghosts, and guests which debut in flurries of literary leitmotiv and exit in anonymity. I spent some of my time between classes today trying to pin down the format of chapters, parts, points of view: I know the story and where it goes, but I'm not quite sure how I should be telling it. In the tradition of Konrad, I get the feeling that this novel will be beyond abstract. And on that note. I keep thinking of Draculic's The Taste of a Man. Is that how Serafeim ends up? So far off the edge of the map that the map becomes useless? I tend to hope not... Also, I watched "Goya's Ghosts" the other night, with mein vater: disturbing and about the Inquisition, what could be better? For the purposes of novel writing, it's semi-unfortunate that the Church has so long ago abandoned its incredible bloody-mindedness. I visited the library today, after calculus.
~ Declaration on Religious Freedom of Vatican Council, II - Vatican Council. 2nd.
~ The Wisdom of Catholicism - Anton Pegis
~ The Principles of Monasticism - Bernard Sause
~ Sex in Christianity and Psychoanalysis - William Cole
~ Orthodoxy - G.K. Chesterton
~ The Silent Life - Thomas Merton
~ The Case Worker - Gyorgy Konrad
- mood:
good - music:Emyli by Pretty Balanced
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excommunimoi- the one that got away
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